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NFL Draft QB Rankings & Comps

NFL draft month is a upon on us and smokescreens are being deployed left and right. With the chaos that is NFL draft season I try to sort through the madness and take a deep dive into this year's single-callers. That being said, this QB class has been poked, prodded and evaluated to death. So instead of offering a Pro comp for each QB, can I interest you in a fast food menu item? Let's begin.

1. Caleb Williams, USC

Comp: Chipotle Burrito

Okay, let's get the obvious number one out of the way. It's not a hot take to say that Caleb is actually being underrated as a prospect coming out. Not only is he the clear number one pick in this draft but he is rightful labeled as a generational guy, up there with Trevor Lawrence and Andrew Luck. It seems lazy to compare him to Mahomes but the way he throws the ball across his body, yet still delivering a perfect, tight-spiraled ball is a thing of beauty. Now I get it, you may say Chipotle isn’t a fast food restaurant, but may I remind you that Caleb Williams doesn’t care about labels. He’s the Gen Z of fast food restaurants. He paints his nails, cries after games and has a pink phone case. Your grandpa may not like him but in the arms race that is the NFL, Caleb Williams gives you a fighting chance.


2. Drake Maye, UNC

Comp: Chic-fil-A Chicken Biscuit

Drake Maye has been all over big boards over the past year, with people saying he is better than Caleb and others proclaiming he needs a year to sit. I think the answer lies somewhere in between and in any other draft he would be in consideration for the top overall pick. I went with the Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit sandwich here. Much like it feels wrong to draft a UNC QB (see Mitch Trubisky and Sam Howell), it also feels wrong to be eating a breaded chicken sandwich at 9:30 in the morning before you absolutely crush some excel spreadsheets. However, you gotta trust me here. This sandwich and this QB could change your life. Maye is a certified gamer and I believe his ceiling is on the level of Justin Herbert or Brett Farve. Every once in awhile he’ll have a big miss but put this guy with competent coaching and he has the potential to be a top 5 gunslinger in this league.


3. Jayden Daniels, LSU

Comp: Taco Bell Crunchwrap

The Taco Bell Crunchwrap is the perfect combination of a crunchy hard shell and a soft, warm tortilla. Daniels, similarly is the perfect pairing of his athletic running ability and touch passing. That being said, much like the crunchwrap, I am worried that Daniels could fall a part by the end. To his own determine, he takes a ton of unnecessary shots. Additionally, he has trouble with the middle of the field and much of his success at LSU came on slot WR fades to Malik Nabers and Brian Thomas Jr. In fact, among first round or second round QBs only Justin Fields struggled more with the intermediate, middle of the field and we all know how that worked out (see Caleb Williams).


4. Michael Penix Jr , Washington

Comp: Taco Bell Caramel Apple Empanada

Michael Penix Jr. lands 4th on this list but he was by far and away my favorite quarterback to watch in college last year. He has a Howitzers of an arm, and you have to commend him for coming back from the dead after two ACLs and a shoulder injury. Not to mention playing at Indiana. However, much like the Apple Carmel Empanada, Michael Penix could leave you burned. We already talked about the injuries, but he also lacks the mobility that the modern QB needs. He steps back, finds his target and throws the ball. Think NFL before 2010. Plus he played in college for 6 (SIX!) years. Fun Fact Alert: He was recruited out of high school in the same class as Justin Fields. He SHOULD have been dominating 19 and 20 year olds in college. That being said, the apple empanada is delicious and Michael Penix’s arm talent could potentially feed families. You have to pray he stays healthy, but I can see the hype.

5. JJ McCarthy, Michigan

Comp: Raising Canes Chicken Fingers

JJ McCarthy. The 2024 NFL Draft’s true wildcard. Much like actual Raising Canes, people just haven’t seen enough of him. He wasn’t really asked to do much at Michigan, but when he did he showed promise. And unlike our friend Jayden Daniels, McCarthy excels between the numbers in the middle of the field. That being said, Raising Canes is really just Chicken Fingers. JJ McCarthy to me seems like just a guy. Nothing special. Sure surround him with talent- Texas toast, ice tea, Justin Jefferson and I’ll be excited but it’s just Chicken Fingers.

6. Bo Nix, Oregon

Comp: Burger King Chicken Fries


Bo Nix. Burger King Chicken Fries. Sure I was excited about this YEARS ago, but with time, I’ve learned it’s just not that good. Bo Nix started his career in 2019 at Auburn and was proclaimed the next big thing. Much like Michael Penix Jr, he revived his career in the Pac-12 and is seen as a fringe 1st rounder. However, more likely than not, he seems destined to be drafted on day two by a desperate team (Broncos?), start a couple of years and then be a backup. And a very quality backup at that, for a long time.


Bonus: Spencer Rattler, USC (The other one)

Comp: Shamrock Shake

I only want to see him once a year and even then… it's garbage time.

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