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Blow Your Nose Bending Over

The American Journal of Medicine, February 2024, Volume 137, Issue 2


Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, but this is medical advice.




Boogers!


Blowing your nose is revered by all, and feared by some. We all cherish the opportunity to blow a stuffed nose (other than those who fear it). The relief it brings can be immaculate. My own self studies have come to the statistically significant conclusion (p value = 0.03), that the feeling of clearing out your nose is equal to 1/8th of an orgasm. This is certainly a pleasant lil feeling to boost your mood; however, what if there was a way to get that feeling up to 1/6th of an orgasm? I believe I have a solution, and will present my case in the following.


God, your father, or your boss, says blow your nose standing up, and we all just do it. Standing up is the traditional way nose blowing has happened, dating back at least 75 years. (standing up in this context does not actually refer to standing up, rather having the torso in the traditional upright position. The traditional erect torso can be achieved in a seated, standing, leaning, or slumped position) .


What if there was another way? Draw your attention to Figure 1, in it you will see a model I constructed while studying nose blowing. The patient (John Doe 1) is on earth, in normal gravity (9.8m/s^2), in the traditional erect torso position, and he is personally neglecting air resistance. We can see the gravity visualized as the green arrow. The red arrow represents the force John Doe 1 has to apply to blow his nose. The nose blowing starts in the lungs, as you push air up to the sinuses, hence the upward arrow. A 2000 study found that blowing your nose created a pressure of 1.3 pounds per square inch (Source 1).



I came to the startling revelation that these two arrows are going in opposite directions. An increased nose blowing force is needed to overcome the effects of gravity.

An important note I find useful: This study was conducted while blowing against gravity (I assume, I have found there is a certain lack of scientific rigor in the study).



Now let us consider another way. What if we could get those two opposing forces to align? In figure 2, John Doe 2 will explore another scenario. He also is on Earth, with normal gravity (9.8m/s^2), and also chose to neglect air resisitance. The green arrow is the pull of gravity. The red arrow is the direction of the force for a nose blowing. One critial difference is the torso position. John Doe 2 is blowing in the same direction as gravity. He is perpendicular to the ground, head first, in what the scientific community wished to nickname as the Donoberry torso. (I begrudgingly accepted, much to my chagrin)



When the torso is aligned in the same direction as gravity, less force is needed per blow to move boogers. What John Doe 2 and I discovered is that when applying the same force as Figure 1, 1.3 pounds/square inch, the nose load was larger and more felt satisfying. Blowing in the same direction as gravity significantly increased load size and pleasure, clocking in at almost 1/6th of an orgasm, a number that I fear is as high as some of us will ever achieve.


Conclusions:

Blowing your nose with a Donoberry torso can lead to a better blowing pleasure and booger load size.

 A person could blow in the same direction as gravity and achieve the same 1/8th orgasm effects as Figure 1, with less nose blowing force required.


This is your reminder to appreciate not having a stuffy nose, which we all claim to remember in the future when we are sick.





Sources:

Gwaltney, J. M.; Hendley, J. O.; Phillips, C. D.; Bass, C. R.; Mygind, N.; Winther, B. (February 2000). "Nose blowing propels nasal fluid into the paranasal sinuses". Clinical Infectious Diseases. 30 (2): 387–391. doi:10.1086/313661. ISSN 1058-4838. PMID 10671347


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